Mabari Puns
by DashOfPeppers
Summary: The night before the Landsmeet, in the eyes of our favorite canine companion. "Dog" seems so dull a name, don't you think?


_To years of drinking darkspawn blood, killing blood mages and Qunari alike, and slaying one of the very magisters who created the Blight. To a good game, and a good story._

 _This story contains spoilers to Dragon Age: Origins._

* * *

"How about… 'Barkspawn'?"

"Alistair, _no_."

They are discussing his name, because apparently the other humans don't think that "Dog" is a fitting title for a mabari warhound of his strength and caliber. Dog disagrees, for it is the name his human gave him and thus, by default, that it is the most fitting name this mabari can have. But the other humans don't agree, especially Bastard-Knight.

He throws out his arms in a way the mabari learned as being called "exasperated", whatever that means, and looks utterly crestfallen. "You can't name your dog _'Dog'_!"

W _hy not?_ the mabari wonders, and his human echoes his thoughts out loud, albeit more harshly and human-like, but wearing a faint smile to show he is toying with Bastard-Knight. Either the boy is too stupid to notice or the Hero of Ferelden is too cunning and that's why Dog _loves_ his human.

"B-because!" he protests, looking hot and flustered. The two girly humans are hiding in the shadows, beyond the campfire, sharing a twitching smile as they watch Bastard-Knight pace up and down. "That's just… not _right_!"

"Why not?" the Hero of Ferelden asks again, and Dog can see that he is fighting a losing battle with his lips turning upward with a spark of rebellion.

Dog rolls his eyes, as much as a dog is able to, and walks away, losing the interest of a conversation moving around in circles. He goes back to his bone, which is the one thing that makes the most sense out of anything, lies down, and gnaws at it, listening in the background and wondering why on Thedas does this have to be important?

But Alistair's not stupid, and he knows the Hero is toying with him, but he does it anyways because he can feel more than hear Leliana's laughter, who hasn't laughed since they left Orzammar. Leliana laughs because she hasn't shared a smile with Morrigan the entirety that they've been together, and it feels good to watch the surly sarcastic apostate grin at something so foolish. Waynne watches with a grandmotherly smile and entertains the thought of joining the discussion just to be in the presence of the Wardens and enjoy them as the sons she's never had. Oghren offers his own suggestions, either enormously crude or enormously vague that lead to crude things if thought about too much. Zevran joins in because he finds the blushes that touch the Chantry sister's face highly amusing because, for a Chantry sister, she shouldn't understand the jokes so quickly and he finds this scandalizing. And Sten and Shale watch, not amused but not appalled by the company's presence, so they sit and watch just like Dog because they wish to be a part of the group.

And they all partake because they sense something will happen after the Landsmeet and they don't want to ruin this moment of companionship.

 _The hall bathed in a bloody civil war that is eventually sated when the Queen enters, lofty and indignant, and suggests that she rule the land. And Alistair, dark with memories of death and destruction and plots of revenge that shouldn't pass through a man so innocent as he portrays himself to be, proves that he's not so innocent and declares his lineage to the nobles, not only to spite Queen Anora but to take up the responsibility he realizes he is bound to uphold. Then he executes all of them, Loghain, Anora, and his childish dream of a Warden life, bounding his oath to the throne in blood._

 _The Warden who tells them both that in order to slay the Archdemon, one of them must die, and the look of horror on Alistair's face, tainted with regret and understanding and he suddenly looks so much like the king weighted with responsibility he claimed to uphold. His brother in arms, the Hero of Ferelden, keeping his stony face, that always seemed scarred the moment he drank the blood of darkspawn, and folding a secret in his mind that he would be the one to do it, because by the bloody Maker, he spent too long watching Alistair grow up and bond with him to see the man die on him._

 _Morrigan, sneaking into his chambers, promising him a life she could steal back for him, speaking of dark rituals and a child and an old-god soul. The Warden watches her, knowing he can't say no to her when knowing that they could be together forever, and he indulges in a moment of selfishness and un-heroism and makes sure he won't die like another bloody hero in the history stories._

 _The tower, large and menacing, crawling with darkspawn, awaits them, and the Warden tells Dog to stay here, stay safe, watch over Morrigan even though the mage can fully take care of herself._

 _The dragon's roar, piercing the black night in a harrowing shriek._

 _Then light. Then fleeing darkspawn. Then laughter and giggles and hugs._

 _Then Alistair, acting as if he hadn't killed the Archdemon, that they didn't win anything at all and it's all just a terrible nightmare, returns from the tower. Alone._

 _Morrigan stone cold when she asks where_ he _is, and the King looking very unkingly as he looks like he's going to shatter, but doesn't because he has an audience, and instead dully announces that the fabled stories of the Archdemon's deadly talons are true, and he can't wait to wash the blood out of his armor._

 _And Dog acts scared and angry and utterly bewildered as he barks at Bastard-Knight, who is now King-Knight, and demands to know where his human is. Alistair doesn't answer, and instead addresses his subjects in a hollow voice and sounds as if he's going to cry. He mutters something about it being worse than Duncan's death, and Dog gets the feeling he won't see his human in a very long time._

 _A ritual can't stop a man from bleeding to death, Morrigan realizes, and Wynne hadn't been there to heal him._

 _She leaves, without a word or expression, but looking more pale than usual, and Dog never sees her again. (But she has a child, and she swears to love it the way she had never showed her love to the Warden.) And soon everyone else leaves, weeks later, just after the Warden's funeral, and Dog feeling very lonely and sad and sick._

 _Dog soon finds a new place, by the King's side, at his throne, licking excess bones and intimidating the guests when Alistair decides to act more like Bastard-Knight than King-Knight that day._

 _Dog keeps his name, "Dog", and when people ask Alistair why he let the dog have such a ridiculously blunt name, the king spontaneously forgets the conversation, so long ago, of calling the mabari "Barkspawn" instead of "Dog"._

 _He instead answers sadly, "Why not?" and the look in his eyes keep them from pressing the subject further._

And they all sense this, though they don't know what is to happen, but that they should make the best of the calm before the Landsmeet.

And Dog especially doesn't know this, because he is just Dog, and that it is an apt name to be given.

"Oh, I've got one... ' _Arfdemon_.'"

"I will _kill_ you, Alistair."


End file.
